Coercive Control & the Gabby Petito Case
Abuse does not always involve physical violence. Coercive control can take many forms, from isolation and intimidation to threats and manipulation. The Gabby Petito case highlights why recognising the warning signs matters.
You have probably heard of physical abuse, but abuse can take many different forms. One form of domestic abuse is coercive control. It involves a pattern of behaviour used to control, intimidate or isolate another person.
The case of Gabby Petito, whose murder in 2021 attracted worldwide attention, highlights how controlling behaviour can exist within a relationship and why it is important to recognise the warning signs.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control occurs when someone in a relationship repeatedly uses controlling behaviour against their partner. This can have a serious effect on the person's everyday life.
It may involve isolating someone from friends and family, making threats, monitoring their movements or making them feel afraid. Physical violence is not always involved. However, coercive control can leave someone feeling trapped, powerless and unable to leave the relationship safely.
Coercive control is not simply one argument or disagreement. It involves an ongoing pattern of behaviour that can seriously affect a person's life.
What does coercive control look like?
Coercive control can be difficult to recognise, particularly when controlling behaviour begins gradually and becomes more serious over time.
Some examples of coercive control include:
- Isolation: Preventing someone from seeing their friends or family.
- Threats: Making someone afraid to end the relationship.
- Belittling: Constant criticism, name-calling or making someone question their own experiences.
- Controlling behaviour: Dictating what someone wears, where they go or who they speak to.
- Monitoring: Checking someone's phone without permission or tracking their location.
Why is coercive control harmful?
Although coercive control may not always cause physical injuries, its emotional and psychological effects can be serious. Constant criticism, threats and manipulation can damage a person's confidence and self-esteem. Over time, they may feel increasingly isolated and believe that they have no safe way to leave the relationship. Fear of what might happen if they leave can make it especially difficult for someone experiencing coercive control to seek help.
The Gabby Petito case: A real-life example
Gabby Petito was a young American woman who was murdered by her partner, Brian Laundrie, in 2021 while they were travelling across the United States. Her disappearance and death attracted international attention. Her story was later explored in the Netflix documentary American Murder: Gabby Petito. The case has been widely discussed in connection with coercive control and the warning signs of abusive relationships.
What were the signs of coercive control discussed in this case?
Love-bombing
Brian overwhelmed Gabby with love and affection during the beginning of their relationship, which is a tactic used by abusers to create a strong emotional bond quickly.
Isolation
Brian forced Gabby to cut off her friends, he criticised her job, and made her feel as though only he understood her.
Self-blame
Police body-camera footage showed Gabby repeatedly apologising and blaming herself for problems in the relationship. Self-blame can be a response to emotional abuse.
Mental health used against her
Both Brian and the police blamed Gabby’s anxiety. This is known as gaslighting, when someone makes you question your reality.
Public vs. Private
Gaby and Brian showcased a perfect life on social media. In reality, Gabby was isolated and terrified. Coercive control often goes unnoticed as it is hidden behind a positive image.
Fear of leaving
Gabby expressed concerns about ending the relationship and how Brian might react. Fear of a partner's response can make leaving an abusive relationship difficult.
Coercive control law in Ireland
Coercive control has been recognised as a criminal offence in Ireland under Section 39 of the Domestic Violence Act 2018, which came into effect in January 2019.
This means a person can face criminal charges for engaging in a persistent pattern of controlling or coercive behaviour that seriously affects another person, where the legal requirements of the offence are met.
What does the law say?
‘A person commits an offence where he or she knowingly and persistently engages in behaviour that’ :
- Is controlling or coercive.
- Has a serious effect on a relevant person.
- A reasonable person would consider likely to have a serious effect on a relevant person.
The behaviour must also be engaged in knowingly and persistently.
What does this mean in practice?
Under Irish law, coercive control is more than a single incident of unpleasant or controlling behaviour. The offence focuses on a repeated pattern of behaviour and its serious effect on the person experiencing it. For example, repeated threats, intimidation or controlling actions may form part of a criminal offence where the legal conditions are met.
What evidence can be used?
Coercive control can be difficult to prove because it often happens privately and may not leave physical evidence. Evidence of a repeated pattern of behaviour may include text messages, emails, records of threats or witness accounts.
A person convicted of coercive control may face a fine or imprisonment. Under the Domestic Violence Act 2018, the maximum prison sentence is five years.
Coercive control: Statistics and awareness
Recognising the signs and seeking help
Understanding coercive control is important because abusive behaviour is not always immediately obvious. Recognising patterns of isolation, threats, manipulation and monitoring can help someone identify an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
If you are concerned about coercive control in your own relationship or someone else's, consider speaking to a trusted friend, family member, teacher or appropriate support service.
Recognising the warning signs of coercive control can help people seek support before abuse becomes more serious.
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